packing.

::nom nom::

and i'm holding a red thong ----------------------------->

countdown timer!! ------------------------>

so..

i decided to go home. have too many reasons to go and not enough to stay. but damnit, i'll come back to japan someday, weither to live, do buisness, or on a trip, i dun care. i be comin back >D pardon my terrible terrible spelling, thinking in japan has been doing numbers on my english coherence, it took me ten minutes to remember the word "coherence". yes. that bad.

i wish i had used this blog more while i was still here, but atleast i have a few funny things to look back on. i have so many stories still in my head that i should really get down on "paper" before i go.. lord knows i have the time XD

maybe.... my next entry will be about the amazingness of the arcade game... "Jubeats"

DUN
DUN
DUN
!!!!!!!

A or B

so im on episode 223 of "One Piece", it's a good show. unfortunately, it is currently my escape method. dad still hasnt gotten my pills, which just heightens the sadness really. i finally got rid of that blasted pinkeye, but my eyesight seems permanently damaged, and i really need to get into an eye doctor soon so i can stop these headaches fromn lack of sight -___-

Taco finally died, which is odd, because he was still alive when i got back from my 9 day excursion with David. he waited until after i had cleaned his house, added new rocks (that were clean) and fed him. maybe it was the rocks? or maybe he just didnt like the evangelion figurine i set next to him, pointing a knife in his direction ^^;

im just sorta sad, the whole trip with David was amazing, so amazing in fact that i dont know that i can go another 6 months without him. dad doesnt care if i leave japan early, and i could easily live with David. take some online courses over the summer, then finish my classes to grad in some community college. we even have a beautiful apartment, that we can move into in August, that his mom owns and will most likely sign over to us. our own place... sounds too good to be true.

all ive really been doing for awhile is watching One Piece and sleeping. i feel at a stand-still in japan at the moment and im not sure if i should stay or go.

on the one hand, being here has been my dream for ages, and i love japan, i really do.

on the other, i miss David. he is my future and my reason to keep kicking. i also feel satisfied with my stay in japan, and am worried that it will only drag from here on in.

i try to plan things to do with my friends, but at the last minute they all back out. coming up with some plan they "made a month ago" that they had forgotten about. i dont hold it against any of them, i just feel like i've overstayed my welcome. besides, alot of them are leaving soon as well.

i feel like if i stay, i might regret it. but if i leave, i might regret it.

also, it doesnt help that dad is trying to sell his motorcycle, his car broke down, hes trying to get his salesmans' liscence back (so he can stay at work late at night and sell cars for commission, since he ha to take a pay cut).

its all just so sad...

so what would you choose?



A : stay with your dream and see it through, tough it out like you always do?

- or -

B: give in because the times have changed, and what would really make you the happiest is to have someone to take care of, and to take care of you...

;________;

on my mind.

current things on my mind before i go to sleep:

1 : so most of my best friends here are leaving after the first semester. i just found out about them all on the same day, save for Justin, whom i was preparing to lose already.

Justin is a shiny soul, he's someone that cant be replaced so easily, i dont think ever. ive never really met anyone like him who can be so optimistic, almost blindly. but its so refreshing, he is like a fresh breath of air, and is always genki. some of the best adventures i've had in japan have been with and because of him. he's always our planner, deciding what to do for us, so we just follow along and are always splendidly surprized. everytime i do my nails i scratch his head because he has puppy-hair, and its funny when he leans into it, even miud-conversation. i love making jokes around him, or telling him something and it takes him a second then he says "oh wait what was that?" as if his head is always in the clouds, or in some distant happy-land filled with ponies and rainbows. and waffles. i think it's adorable how he runs up to A.J. when they are reunited after maybe an hour of being apart, Justin is just so special. sometimes he says something at random, like when he told sensei he wanted her life in japanese. the look on Ikeda-Sensei's face was priceless. as Jaqui and i had to try and explain what Justin had said, he just sat there smiling. i dont know if he puts on an act sometimes, so we just think he doesnt get things, or not, but Justin, you will sorely be missed.

Mat, i was introduced to Mat by Jacob, and he quickly became someone i cared about. firstly it was nice to meet someone who shared similair understandings of life and the world. it was aawesome to talk about anime, and being republican in the same sentance. he's a good concience for anyone, even though he makes some of the meanest jokes you'd never expect out of a church-goer. he oft tells Te, the chinese girl in our class, that he hates her. because japanese has kanji, and the counting system because of the chinese. Mat is one of those guys that has a pretty face, and a really great personality that will find a good job, marry a beautiful woman and have a happy family that sticks together through the roughest of times. he will be a good friend to all those around him, and his kids will brag about how their dad can "beat your dad up".

Alex started out a shy guy, i didnt think we'd ever hang out, nor did i ever think i could miss him so much in his absence. it's been very interesting to see him come out of his shell more and more, and now its to the point that he just makes synical jokes which seemingly come from thin air.
Lindsey : "it's all your fault Alex!! your faaaace!"
Alex : "i'm sorry my mom just doesnt make good babies"
Alex has become a person that i dont ever want to be without, he's the guy that usually doesnt say much in the group, but when he does its sooo funny. he makes great facial expressions and i will always remember when i got to draw the curly mustache on his face for Halloween, it was so suiting. he's the kind of guy that you know has a deep personality that just takes time to unearth. and now that i have i dont want to see him go.

Jacob was a surprize. i knew Justin was leaving, and i was pretty sure that Obirin would allow Mat and Alex to stay, but Jacob was supposed to be here for a year, its just that he lacks the funds to do so, and america's economy sucks. *ahem*OBAMA*ahem* Jacob was probably the best friend i've had in a long time, at the beginning of the semester we always hung out. it's especially funny because one of the first things he asked me was if i watched "The Office" and all i could think of was how much he reminded me of Kevin. what's awesome about Jacob is he still has this huuuuge inner child in him, but if he has to he does have a great deal more wisdom to him then he lets on, or even knows. i think Jacob has alot of inner quarrels but if he can get over them, he will definately be able to overcome anything and do what he wants. all it takes is the will to want something, then you never give up until you get it. and if you fail, you learn from your mistakes and try again. i feel bad i never finished pokemon with him, but it was so cute that he was entirely addicted to the game. for the rest of my life whenever i see something pokemon (which will be forever, since the damn thing will never end) i will think of the big guy who thinks he's a walrus.

i really dont know how to deal with losing these people yet, i'm generally an untrusting-rather cold bitch in america. i just dont like people. i grew sick of so many shallow shells that i forgot that individuals exsisted. and now that i've been reminded and am looking to the future and when i see them gone, it really slices a piece out of me. being in japan has made me feel alive in some ways i havent for a long time. socially, primarily. but, even when the time comes i wont be saying "farewell". i've learned in my life that most people forget you when they're gone. i've been forgotten by many of my friends in my life, and i've come to accept this fate. when Justin, Mat, Alex and Jacob go home, they'll return to their normal lives, their families and friends. and they may stay in contact with some of us through facebook, but eventually it will fade. which is normal. the diference between them and me, is that this, now, is my normal life. and i will never forget a one of them.

2 : it's cold.

3 : it's very hard to type with these long friggin nails, this thing would normally only take like 7 mins to type but its gone on about 25 now. -_____-;;

4 : i miss David so much... i really hope law school isnt destroying him, and i know he's doing well on his exams. i have so muh faith in him, something ive never had in anything else in my life. not to this extent. i cant wait to see him for christmas, its the best present i could recieve. the only thing better would be if he tied a red ribbon around his neck when i pick him up at Narita, because that'd just be hillarious.

5 : Kaede sounds funny when shes trying to brush her teeth.

6 : Taco is a strange turtle... he still hasnt seemed to have eaten anything, and i cant figure nout his temperature settings. he gets hot and goes in the water when its cold in the room, and he gets cold and stands on the rock under the light when its hot. i try to take care of him but i dont know what the hell he wants. the lil prick.

taco

let me first tell the story about my baby turtle.

so... Saturday i went to Yokohama with A.J, Justin, Alex, and Sakana for a festival. we didnt know what the festival was for, we never know what happens at any given place that the japanese take us. they cant answer questions. when you ask something like, "oh, so what's at this festival?" they tilt their head and give you a look that you'd expect from a newborn who spotted a shiny object. we ask "is there food?" they respond quickly "oh yes!" we think, "oh, so they understand, maybe now they know what we're trying to get at." so we ask again, "what else is at this festival?" and we get the same doe-eyed response.

once we got to the festival, it pretty much was just food. and expensive at that. i bought a waffle full of chocolate pudding first, which was amazings. then Justin bought a steak-on-a-stick as A.J. and i eyeball the "furanku furatas" and wonder if they taste anything like a hot dog. i eventually buy one that has an omellete-like wrapping,. and alternating mayo to ketchup. it was delicious. and five dollars. we pass by many stands selling golden shiny obects on sticks and the japanese students cant really explain what they're for, but we know that they're expensive, and that after a year they will be burned. probably for goodluck or a wish or something of the sort. some had bells....

we buy more food, and then i see it again. the "Giant Tub of Tiny Baby Turtles Swimming for Their Lives Away from Waffle Bowls on Sticks" and my heart melts. i ask if anyone wants a baby turtle, no one does. but omg i wanna try to catch one, because apparently the japanese think that it's hard. and i catch like 4 right off the bat but i did it hastily since i only wanted to keep *one*, and so i only got to keep one. you have to catch 3 to keep 1, 6 to keep 2. so i was glad i broke my waffle-bowl-on-a-stick. so the vendor puts it in a bag, and for the rest of the day, random japanese people will come up to me and tell me "oh how cute!" and "wow!" (in japanese though, of course). i worry about carrying the tiny bag for the first ten minutes until i spot an strawberry-on-stick dip-in-chocolate stand. so i get strawberries on a stick that you get to stick in a chocolate fountain. omdfaoisfoasdf amazing. but while i stuffed my mouth, i asked A.J to hold my turtle. they tell me to name him "Noodle" but i decline. and apparently, in A.J.'s hands is when turtle decides to play dead for the first time. he does this also, when Alex holds him, and then later Me. my turtle is very good at playing dead, and scaring the living daylights out of the foreign students, but eventually, exhausted and dying, i make it home with the baby turtle and some turtle food, toss him (gently) into a plastic thing, pour in some water, and drop the rock i found on the road walking home, feed him, then pass out.

Day One With Turtle

i wake up the next morning, and all he seems to want to do is this >>>
which, he does very well. i've concluded that turtle can do tricks. he can ;

Play Dead
Hide In Shell
Flinch
(and my favourite...)
Stare At Vera As She Sleeps Until She Rolls Over

he also is apparently on a diet, since he hasn't taken any of the food i gave him yet. so i worry, since all he does is sit on the rock, that he's cold. and i read online that they usually require Heat Lamps and carry Salmonilla, so i cant play with him like i once thought i could, as i gazed at him through a plastic baggie full of water that had touched hundreds of baby turtles, just like him. so i turn on my lamp, which, when turned onto *bright* (it has a brightness knobbie thing) creates quite a bit of heat. and then i left it on until i went to bed.


Day Two With Turtle

so it was Monday, and i had school. so i left the light on for him and left for school. i also fed him and changed the water. i had a decent day at school, especially when Linguistics was cancelled *angels sing* but i wasnt prepared for what i found when i got home.

now, i clean my room weekly, sometimes bi-weekly. but this is japan and there isnt room for anything, so my room gets pretty messy after a day or two. and i havent had time to clean for a week or so, so you can picture the state of my room at this very moment. (which makes me think, wow, i could be cleaning it right now instead of typing this long and boring story...)

nevertheless, i come home, set down my things, and look at turtle (who is still un-named at this time) who is no longer in his plastic box. the look of fear on my face is something i wish i had eyes on my fingertips like in Beatlejuice so that i could point them at my face and see my own astonishment. i think i stood there for a good 10 seconds before the shock settled and i began my search. there were so many hiding places on the floor, and a shapely rug, that i quickly threw everything i could onto my bed, without moving from my current position. (which isnt hard considering my room is maybe 6'x12' in its entirety, however, it still looked like a lonely game of Twister) after that was taken care of, i searched my messy desk, which would be his first landing point. and since it was practically full as well, there were only two routes he could have taken. so i check the one to the left first, which is by the trash can and also the messiest side of the table. i carefully lift things, including my rug, hoping i dont step on the 2.5" long shelled reptile.. which i dont. because i cant FIND him. i search and search and then i realize there was a second route. i followed it, and casting aside my snot-rags from my battle against influenza, i find him, huddled in a corner near my bed. "AHA!~" i yell, then i pick his ass up and toss him in the water. he *plops* hard enough to create bubbles, and then i begin my search for a deeper container. i swear at the baby turtle as i am searching throuhg my things for potential Turtle Homes. i had a clear plastic-bag... but i didnt want to get it all turtle-yucky. then i think about emptying one of my host families tiny plastic boxes that was left in my room, but where would i pur the wires? then, i find the perfect host for my Turtle-Punishment. the case from the creepy-solar-powered-head-bobbly-toy i got for a birthday gift from my host family's apartment friends. i tear the plastic off that sucker, which must have been about 7' deep, and literally pour turtle into the new vat. i know he needs more space, but he needs to learn a lesson, and i have to remember to go to the hyaku-en store. i tell him that he doesnt deserve a name yet, and that because of his actions he could go to bed without dinner.


Day Three With Turtle

i've been battling with different name ideas for turtle. i usually like food names, so i thought of Melon (but pronounced mheron, since in im japan). i was told to name him after one of the Ninja Turtles, but i figured that was too cliche. then, when i began to type this entry out the name Tasuki popped into my head. which would be an amazing name, considering Tasuki is a sexy fireweilding fighter in Fushigi Yuugi. but i want turtle to have a cute name. so that when i curse at him, it sounds horrendous.

and then i return to the food. because all pets should be named after food.

and i've now decided on Taco. because taco's are funny and why would you name a turtle after mexican food? do they even have turtles in mexico?

omgwtfbbq!1?

wow, so alot happens but i'm always too tired to type it.

so lets see....

last friday i got to see Kt for the first time in years. it was akward only because we were both in japan o___o she was pretty much the same Kt and we had a good time. i felt bad though since she lives in a small town and i have Machida nearby with so much shoppings. she met Jake, Mat and some of the Japanese girls. i think all we did was talk nonstop and try on boots. then we went to Yakiniku and i think the guy didnt charge us for our beers XD!~ it was deliciousness.

saturday i went with Jake, Ramone, Justin, and A.J. to the Kirin Brewery factory. which they called "Beer Village" we had fun but all anyone was waiting for was the free beer. i got the Stout which was very good, (i just wish i could find it in stores) and bought some omiyage. however, i was sad the tshirt i wanted only came in L and LL so i got what i THOUGHT was a tote bag. WRONG~!! and i didnt open it until AFTER my two large beers, so needless to say it was hillarious when Sensei and the others found out i had bought an apron when i thought it was a bag. and of course A.J. had to tie it on me. *le sigh*

then later; Alex, Kana, Sakiko, and PChan met us in Yokohama at the Landmark Tower, so we did things there. rode a swirly ride which was hella fun, and the huge ferris wheel. which, by the way, is romantic and gorgeous at night. (they have it in alot of animes where the boy confesses his love on it) interesting to see it in person. then we went to the shopping mall Sakiko works in, wandered around, found interesting things and then ate. stole some ice creams from Jake and fed my boyfriend Sakiko. she's so cute :3 A.J. jumped over some steps like the Kaizoku he is, and we went home. i was home alone that night so i ate the curry my host fam made for me, filled the bathtub all on my own (yay!) and made a Kahlua and Milk and relaxed in the tub ^^ havent done that for awhile since in japan they love baths but they dont really drink anything or light candles.... then i slept.

then yesterda, sunday, i met up with Jake, A.J, Ramone and Justin and we went to HaraJuku, Shibuya and Shinjuku. Jake left before everything. so in HaraJuku we saw like 5 people dressed up, and some cranky japanese mad approached us and guessed off the bat that A.J. was canadian. said he was awesome, then started to talk shit about america, and A.J. was like "uhh well they're all american" pointing to me, Ramone and Justin. but the old fella kept going, saying how we wont let him come to our country and then about how we kill everyone. at that point i was no longer amiused and just walked away. we think he wanted monies but we cant figure out how it would work if he just insulted us?

anywho, the temple was amazing and i took over 40 photos of just the wish blocks. in the japanese temples they always hang these wish blocks, you buy one and fill it out and hang it, and every 3 months or so, they take all the wishes and burn them in a ceremony that makes the wish real. but what was so neat about this place was that there were wishes from every country imaginable. i found german, russian, thai, korean, chinese, japanese, english, french, arabian. it was amazing. and some in english were hillarious, especially ones written by little kids. and many had drawings or lists. i think i might do a project on them, they were particularly inspiring.

then we went to NHK Broadcasting station (Home of Domo-Kun!!!) and it was pretty fun. A.J and i did a dub of an anime together, but i couldnt read the japanese very quickly. it was funny, he played this fat white man who stroked his mustache and i was the Mable the akward and quiet secretary. there were birds and mustache stroking and thats all i remember. then Justin did one (ramone decided he didnt want to join us for the tour) and it was hillarious, he was this little kid that fell from the sky and the second half of his lines he sorta just "domo--nani-------whatever whatever" it was hillllaaarious. then we went to the first Glasses-less 3D movie theatre, which was awesome but hurt your neck, because you had to sit funny to make it work. and the second half was a story with......dundundun... KAIZOKU! it was funny. and ironic. then we went to the store... i wanted the 50$ huge domo soooooooo bad. i still do. but i settled for the tiny one, a washcloth, and a really spiffy lego calendar. which was together 40$ so im still wondering if i shoulda just got the huge domo....

then we met up with ramone and ate at Freshness Burger. which i didnt like as much as Mos Burger and it was hella expensive and small. so we went to Krispy Kreme! and were treated like VIP's, since we wanted 2 dozen donuts. however when we were whisked to the front of the line, they told us we couldnt choose our donuts..... which we later realized.. sucked. since half the donuts we got.. sucked. and they werent fresh. BUT we didnt have to wait forever in line so it wasnt THAT bad. and when we sat down to eat them out on the curb, some random man asked us (in perfect english) if we had any spare donuts. he didnt look like a bum, but it was so random and ballsy that i gave him the plain donut i didnt want, and A.J gave him half of his crueller (which he later regretted)

then we searched for the Oxygen Bar that no longer exsisted... but we saw a man with a monkey! which was interesting...

then we went to the Square Enix store, which was much smaller then anticipated, but awesome none-the-less. and i bought a Cactuar!!! omg ive wanted one for YEARS! ;D! the store was in two sections, the stuffed animals and then the expensive jewelery. and in the jewelery place there was amazing beautiful silver jewelery from all the final fantasies, chrono trigger, kingdom hearts and fullmetal alchemist. they had quite astounding resin models, and the coolest part, was there was a lifesize half-naked sephiroth in the floor under us. he had his one wing and was laying on a bed of glowwy. it was... so... cool...... i will post photos someday.

then we went home. i drank with the host fam, we all got drunk. and watched the new Gundam 00 in japanese. when i woke up this morning i remembered seeing Tieria Erde in a dress.... and thought i dreamt it. since i WAS drunkish. but no.... i remembered it was real and really wanna know wtf was going on? annnnd i decided to skip today because those boys tired me out this weekend. which im now oh-so thankful for. i cleaned alot (which was needed) and started laundry a bit ago.

about half ab hour ago, i went out to the main room to do some drawing (since i have ALOT to finish for christmas >< you people better know how much i loves you! rawr!) but kaede wanted to steal my markers and kept messing me up... which was beyond irritating but she was so cute i couldnt do anything. so she sat in my lap and wanted to see all the colours i had, but i had to be sooo careful because theyre copics.. and expensive... but she was so adamant... but i safely got them away from her, tempting her with chocolate. but then she didnt want the chocolate that took me forever to break apart. so i offered her a Yogurito (her fav) and tried to escape. but no.. she found me. she can open doors now. so the only way i can get her to stop from entering my room is to turn off the light, which she yells "kurai!!!" and runs away. so i go with her to the main room again and decide ill make another kahlua and milk and sit with her for a bit. but as i do so she says that the Yogurito was tasty and she wants another. well i cant, so i tell her "sorry but no". and then she cries. which FINALLY woke up her sleeping parents, since none of the aforementioned things would have taken place had one of them been awake. it was okay though, i'd love to help them out. so as Yusuke woke up, i escaped. and here i am!

bang!

Meet Billy

so.. i woke up this morning and used my towel from last night that was laying on the floor of my newly cleaned room, to wipe the make-up off my face so i would be presentable for breakfast. but when i threw the towel carelessly upon the ground once more, a giant cockroach-thing popped out from under it. it was quite massive, so i didnt really want to squish it for fear that i'd have to clean up a puddle of buggy-ooze, so i grabbed my glass cup from last night's wine and put it over him.

i didnt have time to figure out what to do with him, so i left him there as i hurried off to school. i thought about him in class... i wondered "how long could a buggy live with a glass full of air?" and "i wonder if the sugar from the wine tastes good?" when i got home i was sort of... glad.. to find him alive. it was almost like having a pet. i considered keeping him, and feeding him M'n'M's or Skittles, but then i realized.... he's just a yucky buggy.

so, in honor of him, i named him Billy, after my favourite Power Ranger, then put a piece of paper under his House and carried him off to the Totoro Toilet where i flushed him to his eternal grave.

so may you rest in peace, Dear Billy, and may your family not come to my room seeking revenge.