on my mind.

current things on my mind before i go to sleep:

1 : so most of my best friends here are leaving after the first semester. i just found out about them all on the same day, save for Justin, whom i was preparing to lose already.

Justin is a shiny soul, he's someone that cant be replaced so easily, i dont think ever. ive never really met anyone like him who can be so optimistic, almost blindly. but its so refreshing, he is like a fresh breath of air, and is always genki. some of the best adventures i've had in japan have been with and because of him. he's always our planner, deciding what to do for us, so we just follow along and are always splendidly surprized. everytime i do my nails i scratch his head because he has puppy-hair, and its funny when he leans into it, even miud-conversation. i love making jokes around him, or telling him something and it takes him a second then he says "oh wait what was that?" as if his head is always in the clouds, or in some distant happy-land filled with ponies and rainbows. and waffles. i think it's adorable how he runs up to A.J. when they are reunited after maybe an hour of being apart, Justin is just so special. sometimes he says something at random, like when he told sensei he wanted her life in japanese. the look on Ikeda-Sensei's face was priceless. as Jaqui and i had to try and explain what Justin had said, he just sat there smiling. i dont know if he puts on an act sometimes, so we just think he doesnt get things, or not, but Justin, you will sorely be missed.

Mat, i was introduced to Mat by Jacob, and he quickly became someone i cared about. firstly it was nice to meet someone who shared similair understandings of life and the world. it was aawesome to talk about anime, and being republican in the same sentance. he's a good concience for anyone, even though he makes some of the meanest jokes you'd never expect out of a church-goer. he oft tells Te, the chinese girl in our class, that he hates her. because japanese has kanji, and the counting system because of the chinese. Mat is one of those guys that has a pretty face, and a really great personality that will find a good job, marry a beautiful woman and have a happy family that sticks together through the roughest of times. he will be a good friend to all those around him, and his kids will brag about how their dad can "beat your dad up".

Alex started out a shy guy, i didnt think we'd ever hang out, nor did i ever think i could miss him so much in his absence. it's been very interesting to see him come out of his shell more and more, and now its to the point that he just makes synical jokes which seemingly come from thin air.
Lindsey : "it's all your fault Alex!! your faaaace!"
Alex : "i'm sorry my mom just doesnt make good babies"
Alex has become a person that i dont ever want to be without, he's the guy that usually doesnt say much in the group, but when he does its sooo funny. he makes great facial expressions and i will always remember when i got to draw the curly mustache on his face for Halloween, it was so suiting. he's the kind of guy that you know has a deep personality that just takes time to unearth. and now that i have i dont want to see him go.

Jacob was a surprize. i knew Justin was leaving, and i was pretty sure that Obirin would allow Mat and Alex to stay, but Jacob was supposed to be here for a year, its just that he lacks the funds to do so, and america's economy sucks. *ahem*OBAMA*ahem* Jacob was probably the best friend i've had in a long time, at the beginning of the semester we always hung out. it's especially funny because one of the first things he asked me was if i watched "The Office" and all i could think of was how much he reminded me of Kevin. what's awesome about Jacob is he still has this huuuuge inner child in him, but if he has to he does have a great deal more wisdom to him then he lets on, or even knows. i think Jacob has alot of inner quarrels but if he can get over them, he will definately be able to overcome anything and do what he wants. all it takes is the will to want something, then you never give up until you get it. and if you fail, you learn from your mistakes and try again. i feel bad i never finished pokemon with him, but it was so cute that he was entirely addicted to the game. for the rest of my life whenever i see something pokemon (which will be forever, since the damn thing will never end) i will think of the big guy who thinks he's a walrus.

i really dont know how to deal with losing these people yet, i'm generally an untrusting-rather cold bitch in america. i just dont like people. i grew sick of so many shallow shells that i forgot that individuals exsisted. and now that i've been reminded and am looking to the future and when i see them gone, it really slices a piece out of me. being in japan has made me feel alive in some ways i havent for a long time. socially, primarily. but, even when the time comes i wont be saying "farewell". i've learned in my life that most people forget you when they're gone. i've been forgotten by many of my friends in my life, and i've come to accept this fate. when Justin, Mat, Alex and Jacob go home, they'll return to their normal lives, their families and friends. and they may stay in contact with some of us through facebook, but eventually it will fade. which is normal. the diference between them and me, is that this, now, is my normal life. and i will never forget a one of them.

2 : it's cold.

3 : it's very hard to type with these long friggin nails, this thing would normally only take like 7 mins to type but its gone on about 25 now. -_____-;;

4 : i miss David so much... i really hope law school isnt destroying him, and i know he's doing well on his exams. i have so muh faith in him, something ive never had in anything else in my life. not to this extent. i cant wait to see him for christmas, its the best present i could recieve. the only thing better would be if he tied a red ribbon around his neck when i pick him up at Narita, because that'd just be hillarious.

5 : Kaede sounds funny when shes trying to brush her teeth.

6 : Taco is a strange turtle... he still hasnt seemed to have eaten anything, and i cant figure nout his temperature settings. he gets hot and goes in the water when its cold in the room, and he gets cold and stands on the rock under the light when its hot. i try to take care of him but i dont know what the hell he wants. the lil prick.